I decided to start this blog for a few reasons. First I live with someone who I believe to have Delusional Disorder Mixed Type. Though I later found out that he was actually diagnosed Bi-Polar Schizophrenic with acute psychosis. Though after living with him so long I believe he is closer to the symptoms/traits of DD. Second, I found in my researching of this disorder that not a lot of information or support is available. Sure you can find a lot about the medical aspects of this disorder but not a lot on what it’s like to live with someone who is out of touch with reality and how to cope with it. I have to admit my only area as an expert is my experience and the few precious bits and pieces of advice I have been able to find. This is a relatively new journey for me so I by far do not have a lot of experience.
I am learning not to take things personally and avoid conflict while I try to figure out how to help my love. It’s not always easy considering the fact that I am dealing with Grandiose Type, Jealous Type, Persecutory Type and Erotomanic Type. Can you imagine the stuff I hear on a regular basis?! I’m with a man who believes God is his grandfather because his father is Jesus, therefore he is a king on earth and every woman on the planet is in love with him (even famous one’s), meanwhile everybody is trying to hurt our children and we must save them. Not to mention, I’m told I’m pretty promiscuous, but it’s okay because I have no choice since it’s my demon and all. For the record, none of that is true. I’ve learned to take it all with a grain of salt.
Some people may ask why did I chose to be with someone with this disorder. First let me tell you this, I have known my partner for a very long time. We were friends long before we became a couple. Most of all these years I have known him, he did not have any mental issues. He had a traumatic incident about 2 years ago which led him to have a mental break and go into psychosis. Under the circumstances, it was perfectly understandable to me that he had a mental break down because if it were me, I might have too. At the time this happened I was not in contact with him. Most the updates I got were through mutual friends. He made big improvements coming out of the mental hospital after that. Not too long after we were hanging out again like normal and it developed into a relationship. I fell in love with my best friend.
Many months went by before something started to seem off. Hindsight being 20/20, I now know there were earlier signs that seemed so insignificant at the time. More than anything, I wish someone in his family or one of our mutual friends would have told me his diagnosis. I wish someone had told me that this would be a lifelong issue and was not a one time mental break. If I had known, maybe I could have got him help when he was still semi in touch with reality. Before the delusions fully took over. I would have done a lot different, but I can’t go back now.
My significant other, is not a bad person. He is one of the most gentle, sweetest, loving, affectionate, caring men I know. He would do anything for me. That being said, the delusions are a part of our every day life. I have no idea at this point how to help him. I have learned that it is best to never argue against any delusion or false accusation or it will cause extreme conflict. I have found it best to ignore it or just walk away. Sometimes it helps to say “I’m not listening to this again” or “I don’t want to hear this” but not always. Since people with DD are still capable of rational thought outside of their delusional beliefs it does help since even they realize they are being annoying. The other thing I also learned is to NEVER agree or go along with a delusion. Maybe say I understand when they are talking but do not feed the mental illness, I noticed when others do this, it only makes things worse by validating the delusion.
I really have so much to say. So much has happened since the beginning of his downward spiral. I will cover those areas at a future time. I’m currently working on doing everything I can to learn more about this illness and how to deal with it. Like so many other people with mental illness my man does not realize he is ill. He had no clue that his delusions are not real. That’s what makes it impossible, even when you have proof, they refuse to let go of the delusion. The delusions are reality to them. You cannot change it no matter what you do or what proof you have. Logic doesn’t even work against the delusion. It can be extremely emotionally taxing at times.
My goal for this blog, is to document my experience and share any information I learn about Delusional Disorder and how to live with and love someone who plagued with it. I also hope through the comment section and other features we can create a support group for one another as families, spouses and friends of those with this relatively unknown illness.